So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
