I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
