Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Still dying that you shit outside
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize