Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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