I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
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