the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Randomize
