yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
