I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I need to wash the frat house off of me
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
