A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
