there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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