I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
