Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
