i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
