i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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