i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize