it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
