I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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