yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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