he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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