Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
