Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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