That's intense
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
