I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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