So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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