"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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