did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
wow bdsm is so cute
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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