fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
