what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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