So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
