Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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