i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Randomize
