Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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