i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
