I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
