how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
