idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
