doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
