No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
