belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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