trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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