I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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