none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
