I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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