Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
