I wish I could teleport
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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