what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
