he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
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