If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize