Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize