Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
