are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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