Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
