Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
