508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
