Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize